Mirka Čejková: There is somebody up there who protects me

Most people still associate Mirka Čejková with television hosting; however, she has not done that in the past eight years. She has been on the coaching and crisis communication path instead. It would not be her if she did not first go through education, trainings and courses. Just like before, she is a true professional. She retained her smile, though, and one wishes talking to her does not come to an end.

After Prima let you go, you left for London to take part in a communication course within a few days. Was it planned in advance?

No, it was not. When I got back from my holiday, I was told to leave. I did not expect that. I went to pick up the kids to school and meet an acquaintance of mine. He asked me what I was up to, so I told him and he was like, “Great, I have been waiting for ages for you to work for me!” He worked in crisis management and coaching, his clients included international companies. I used to help him out with communication, but this seemed too much. I thought I lacked the education. He perused me for a bit, called someone and then told me that if I wanted to be sure, a six-month programme that runs twice a year started in London that Friday. It was Monday. I was looking for excuses in my mind – my English is not good enough, there is not enough time. After some hesitation I gave them a call as I had a couple of questions. There was a spot available in the course, but I had to go through an interview with their Master Coach. A phone interview. It was almost over there.

How come?

I had often travelled to the US. When I heard English, I switched into the restless American frivolity, which is how I started the interview. The Master listened to me and told me later with his callous English repose that I did not strike him as being serious in my interest. I froze and told him, with a completely different intonation, that since I was planning to put all my money into it, I was being very serious. After a moment of silence, he smiled – good answer, I will see you on Friday. The school helped me tremendously from day one. Mostly because I left and changed my environment. It is important in a situation like this, when you are not moving forward but see no solution to change that. I say it to clients, too – when you’re at a bad meeting, change the energy. Go outside for a bit and get it together there. Some just need to do this in their lives, too – pack up and leave.

Should you come to school a couple minutes later, your friend might have been gone. Serendipity?

I feel like there is somebody up there who protects me. And I believe that if you are open to something, the possibility will find you. It is up to you, if you choose it.

You went through numerous subsequent courses and trainings, not just coaching, but also in the matter of the way the brain works.

I have a daughter who is mentally disabled. It mostly shows in ways she communicates. Doctors told me it would not improve. I rejected that notion. I went abroad to find information. There, the opinions of brain development were not as clear-cut. I discovered associated fields. That was in 1990. Nowadays, after all those years, I feel the satisfaction when the doctors see Petra and speak of miracles. No miracles. We simply decided not to accept their version and followed our own path instead. And thanks to her I also work in the field as I can use much of this knowledge to help people.

Was it just your daughter that influenced the direction you took?

It was also a dissatisfaction and curiosity. I realized that we live with these categories; people keep judging us. They would speak for me, tell me who I was and how I think. Most of the time, I felt differently. When they thought I was successful, at the peak of my career and happy, in fact, I was at a crossroad without seeing where any of the roads could get me. I felt trapped by success and career, unhappy. When they were saying I hit rock bottom and described me as lost, I was satisfied inside as I finally knew who I was and where I was going. So, I was interested in how we work, what affects our consciousness, subconsciousness and communication. What makes us decide the way we do? What details form our lives? Today, I can find programmes with my clients that block them. They might rest in their childhood experience, prejudices, families, society, or simply in a strong emotion connected to a mental pain.

What is coaching about, anyway? Do you tell people what they do wrong and how to improve it?

No, I don’t. It is a bit far-fetched, but a coach should never utter a sentence with a full stop at its end. Coaching is a tool thanks to which your client can understand the situation he or she perceives as hard to solve. They can have a look at it from different perspectives, they can focus on all the possibilities, positive or negative, on the results of their decisions. You use questions to lead the clients where they would never let themselves into. We simply would not ask ourselves certain questions because the answer might be painful, and our brain protects us from it. Moreover, if somebody else asks it, we first look for a seemingly logical reasoning behind it. That is where the role of the coach is important. A coach asks further questions to help the clients reveal whether that is true or whether they are toying with themselves. A coach helps clients find a truly clear decision, unburdened by fear. I say that coaching is like learning from experience which helps you turn the losses into gains.

What do people mostly come to you with?

More often than not, I work with companies and do what we call crisis management. The basic scheme is simple – the leadership has some targets that are not met. On one hand, it is numbers. On the other, it is people. There are expectations and then there is reality. You have to map the situation, the processes; and identify the areas for potential improvement. It is like auditing the processes, the people, the potential. I am not the one who says This has to be done. Coaching plays a part, sometimes management group coaching, too, which can reveal that the problem lies with them and their differently set out priorities, different expectations. Then you go a level lower and map the system. A wide range of experts work on clients – lawyers, financial analytics, HR. Sometimes they work on my clients, sometimes they call me to help out on their audits.

What is the hardest part for people or companies?

Discipline. When one identifies an area of their own that should be improved in order to increase efficiency, to work on the potential, it requires discipline and discipline is time-consuming. But time is precious and we want to save it. We like it when things run and that is enabled by – a routine. You do not think of things anymore, whether this or that could be done differently, you are a routine worker. Whether it is in communication, decision making or managing – many people do it automatically and realize only too late that what worked in the past is not good enough anymore.

Can the root of the problem ever be found in the way the management communicates with ordinary employees?

Of course, but that is again a problem of routine and customary procedures. Sometimes, the problem is that a group of subordinate people does not understand what they should be doing, while the management does not see the potential in the company. Many times, what I see is “I’d rather fire this one. And that one too.” But they do not know them at all. Not everyone is a naturally inventive type who thinks of what to do on their own. There are various types of people in inappropriate positions. You can find creative people in almost mechanical positions, while where you want an independent thinker and a creative mind, you find people who cannot do anything without a clear assignment or reiterated activities in an unchanging system. A wide range so-called bad employees are the boss’s fault.

And what about communication within a company?

Such communication varies. Internal communication, i.e. the ability to communicate information, assignments, to lead meetings, communicate in teams of various types of people; intercultural communication within companies with international workers. Communication with clients. Communication as a part of the job, as is the case with salesmen. Public performances – such as when a manager has to motivate, inform, communicate crisis topics. Every field is different – the communication of healthcare system employees, lawyers, teachers, politicians – every single one has its own merits and demands. Another problem is, communication is a conscious process. It should always aim at something, build a relationship and move towards a finished cycle. In reality, people do not think of what they want to happen. They grab a piece of paper, go to the meeting, say something. Any discord of the employees then goes on in the hallways. And if the task is supposed to be submitted, the misunderstanding comes out.

Communication is like life itself. Who perceives it at least a bit and wishes to understand its principles, definitely has a higher chance of succeeding in life.

Teaching others to communicate and tune their way of thinking and reacting must be terribly tiring.

Some people work like vacuum cleaners of energy. I can work with that now, though. I give my best at the seminars and when working with clients, because I love the job and see the possibilities and I want my client, company and students to get as much as they can. But I must say that once you are nearing the end-goal, once you see progress, development, once you find a solution – that charges you up. I learn something from every client, every person I have ever worked with. I thank them for their trust as they are capable of talking to me so openly.

If you feel low on energy after work, what picks you up again?

I love mountains. I hike, I run, if you can still call it that (laughs). I do yoga which really helps me sort my mind out. I have been a bookworm for as long as I remember. I love words and stories. I started reading poems, too. It is a different language, different rhythm, it allows for a deeper imagination, a truly mindful experience in which I get more to my own self.

You spoke of fear. Is it hard to overcome fear?

Do you know what the worst fear is? Of mental pain. We often make bad decisions because we have been at a similar crossroad in the past and it hurt. We do not realize it anymore, but it is there. It affects us and our subconscious forces us to avoid it. It is great when you know this about yourself. Life means getting over obstacles built by ourselves. Such obstacles are often connected with worries and fears. Working on ourselves is like peeling an onion – you are done with one layer and another one awaits. I also avoid this topic myself, try to negotiate around it. I guess it will hurt once I open it up which is why I am not particularly eager to do so.

It is my duty and pleasure to ask – what is that topic?

(Laugh) Well… My relationships. I know that my dad plays some part in them. Mom left him when I was little, and we only found the way to one another in my adulthood. Suddenly, I had this man around me whom my existence gave pleasure. I was his imprint. All those bad personality traits of mine were suddenly good in his eyes as I took after him a lot. I started seeing myself differently. He was still there to see my graduation, wedding, the birth of his granddaughter. Then he died unexpectedly. I don’t think I ever let go of all the possibilities that I could have had. That I lost when I lost him…

In the beginning, you mentioned learning how people work. Do you know it now?

I know how I work. Which is tremendously important. It is only once you realize that about yourself, that you can go out and be open to others without being judgmental, without feeling threatened or hurt by them. So, I know myself. I know my weaknesses and strengths. What I would like to be. That I am on a good path to it, but I still have a long way to go.

CV

Mirka Čejková (born on 7th April 1962 in Prague) is a former TV host and a current life coach. She graduated from the University of Chemistry and Technology, but her professional life was tied to television later on. She worked at Czech Television between 1989 and 1995 as a main news presenter. She left to work for TV Premiéra where she hosted her first show Talkshow of Mirka Všetečková. Between 1999 and 2003, she paired up with Pavel Zuna presenting news at TV Nova. In 2002, she left the news to devote more time to her family. She would still host a few shows. In 2006, she hosted Extra on Prima TV. She left as a candidate for Senate elections. Between 2008 and 2010, she was the main news presenter at Prima TV. Today, she works in life coaching and company crisis communication. For some time, she was the ICF (International Coaching Federation) Vice-president. Her education in this field includes Coaching Development, Structure and Function of the Human Brain − Three in One Concepts, Neuro Linguistic programming, Tim Gallwey IG Coaching Programme, Neuroeconomics – Decision Making and the Brain a Process Communication Model.

She was married three times and has three children – Petra (30), Alex (20) and Felix (17).

Flirting with Politics

Only once she stopped talking of politics on the TV screens to actively enter it. In 2006, the MEP and the leader of Politika 21, Jana Bobošíková, asked her to become their candidate to Senate. Mirka went through the campaign, but no one from Politika 21 got to the Senate. Despite that, she will not forget this short-lived experience. “I think this was the funniest time of my life and unbelievable therapy on top of that. Imagine a Friday afternoon. You are standing in front of the supermarket, crowds of people are passing by and you try to stop them, introduce yourselves to them and convince them that you have the plan to make things better. But this is also the time, in which your life is so exposed in the tabloids… Suddenly, you realize that everyone probably read it in the morning. That was a real test of self-confidence and the best therapy I could ask for. I learnt back then that avoiding what you fear is useless because a direct clash is never as terrible as you envision it.

Tough beginnings

Thanks to her Master Coach, her first work experience took place in London. In the Czech Republic, her career was slow to launch. The first step into the world of coaching was through the ICF: “I was elected the Vice-president. Within the two years of that, we tried cultivating the coaching environment. The market was flooded with people who had nothing to do with coaching as such, who did not have the education. It was a mess and the word coaching was pejorative. At that point in England, two top managers would be talking and exchanging contacts for personal coaches. The situation here was different: Just not tell anyone that you were being couched. As if that was a stigma, a mental disease. In the course of time, companies were getting international bosses who would fly their coaches in from the US. So, establishing myself on the market was not easy but it worked.” Mirka thinks the problem also was that the term coach is rather misleading here. “A coach is more connected with sports, the way we perceive it. A person who just tells you what you are doing wrong and how to do it differently. Coaching did arise from sports. The founder Tim Gallwey, that I studied under, coached tennis. He realized that people would come to him with their minds made up of what they do wrong. They were analysts born to interpret their failures and wanted to fix it with logics and their minds. He turned their logic off. He let their inner resources out and maximized their potential. It was from sports where coaching got into companies, and soon after, to the so-called life coaching.